September 11th

While I know that being apart is actually more difficult for me than it is for you, this day was not an easy one for me.  From the moment we woke up I was in a panic.  Loving you as I do, and knowing how sensitive to the moods around you as you are, I kept myself as best in check as was humanly possible.  We cuddled with Brennan, went shopping with Mommy (for an outfit for the wedding which I then left in the parking lot in Philly...but that's neither here nor there.) (Well no.  It's decidedly here and not there...but has very little to do with you.)  And we were off.  I took pictures of you looking at yourself in your mirror through the rear-view mirror (thank you Debbie-Grandmom's-friend-of-longest-standing!) and watched you enjoying the ride.  You love to hear your Mama sing, and your Mama needs to sing to deal with anxiety.  Win-win really.

We got to Brooklyn and Bria instantly loved you - and how could you not instantly love her.  I'm pretty sure Steve(phen) has some good pictures of your interactions that maybe some day he'll allow to grace the blog's pages, but until then you'll have to take my word for it.  We went to their apartment, and you and Rebecca got along famously from the start...I even chose not to take you from her in my last few moments with you before I left - you were pretty happy with her.  

Thankfully, I love Kimmy and Noah...because once I got to the wedding I was totally happy to be a dutiful friend at a wedding.  Steve and Rebecca sent pictures and updates of you the whole time I was there, and so we have evidence of your first bottle (sniff sniff) outside of the hospital, and your naps and playing away from me.  You took so well to the bottle that I actually needed to leave the wedding before dinner to feed you.  I went back to the wedding, and then we got the OK to have you come and finish out the festivities!  So I went to Steve and Rebecca's again, picked you up, and we went and got loved on by everybody at the wedding.  You have a lot of fans out there Mister.  A lot of people saying how handsome and striking you are... "no, but really...truly a beautiful boy - he's going to be a looker that one - there's something about him that's just particularly special"  Total strangers...it's pretty cool to watch people who aren't me (and therefore a little too close to be objective) say the things that I think about you.  

**moment to profusely thank Steve, Rebecca, and Bria for sharing their home and their day and their love with you.  you guys know the levels of my neurosis, and anxiety, and selfishness...and you really made all of those things calm down beautifully for this very big event in our lives.  this could have been pretty traumatic for Kai and me - and without you I think it might have been... we love you so much, and thank you from the bottom of our hearts**

I always feel like brides and grooms are good luck.  Not just because of the stink that people are making over them the day of their wedding, but because on that day - when things are going right - the amount of love and commitment that they have is at one of its peaks...and how could that not rub off some onto the people that they choose to be around, right?  Well sir, not only did you get to be held by the good luck, you also made her fall in love with you!  That plus your lucky ears?  I don't want to jinx anything, but...good stuff.

You can totally see it in the last picture on this post, and in just about any other context I would never allow myself to be so incredibly transparent...but I love you so much, and dancing and holding and lovin' on you at the end of the day apart made me so happy.  I have no words to explain all my feelings...but my eyes in that picture say it perfectly.